安妮日记英文版_安妮·弗兰克-第57章

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；　if　mother　adds　her　advice；　the　pile　of　sermons　bees　so　thick　that　i　despair　of　ever　getting　through　them。　then　i　talk　back　and　start　contradicting　everyone　until　the　old　famthar　anne　refrain　inevitably　crops　up　again：

〃no　one　understands　me！鈥�

this　phrase　is　part　of　me；　and　as　unlikely　as　it　may　seem；　theres　a　kernel　of　truth　in　it。　sometimes　im　so　deeply　buried　under　self…reproaches　that　i　long　for　a　word　of　fort　to　help　me　dig　myself　out　again。　if　only　i　had　someone　who　took　my　feelings　seriously。　alas；　i　havent　yet　found　that　person；　so　the　search　must　go　on。

i　know　youre　wondering　about　peter；　arent　you；　kit？　its　true；　peter　loves　me；　not　as　a　girlfriend；　but　as　a　friend。　his　affection　grows　day　by　day；　but　some　mysterious　force　is　holding　us　back；　and　i　dont　know　what　it　is。

sometimes　i　think　my　terrible　longing　for　him　was　overexaggerated。　but　thats　not　true；　because　if　im　unable　to　go　to　his　room　for　a　day　or　two；　i　long　for　him　as　desperately　as　i　ever　did。　peter　is　kind　and　good；　and　yet　i　cant　deny　that　hes　disappointed　me　in　many　ways。　i　especially　dont　care　for　his　dislike　of　religion；　his　table　conversations　and　various　things　of　that　nature。　still；　im　firmly　convinced　that　well　stick　to　our　agreement　never　to　quarrel。　peter　is　peace…loving；　tolerant　and　extremely　easygoing。　he　lets　me　say　a　lot　of　things　to　him　that　hed　never　accept　from　his　mother。　hes　making　a　determined　effort　to　remove　the　blots　from　his　copybook　and　keep　his　affairs　in　order。　yet　why　does　he　hide　his　innermost　self　and　never　allow　me　access？　of　course；　hes　much　more　closed　than　i　am；　but　i　know　from　experience　（even　though　im　constantly　being　accused　of　knowing　all　there　is　to　know　in　theory；　but　not　in　practice）　that　in　time；　even　the　most　unmunicative　types　will　long　as　much；　or　even　more；　for　someone　to　confide　in。

peter　and　i　have　both　spent　our　contemplative　years　in　the　annex。　we　often　discuss　the　future；　the　past　and　the　present；　but　as　ive　already　told　you；　i　miss　the　real　thing；　and　yet　i　know　it　exists！

is　it　because　i　havent　been　outdoors　for　so　long　that　ive　bee　so　smitten　with　nature？　i　remember　a　time　when　a　magnificent　blue　sky；　chirping　birds；　moonlight　and　budding　blossoms　wouldnt　have　captivated　me。　things　have　changed　since　i　came　here。　one　night　during　the　pentecost　holiday；　for　instance；　when　it　was　so　hot；　i　struggled　to　keep　my　eyes　open　until　eleven…thirty　so　i　could　get　a　good　look　at　the　moon；　all　on　my　own　for　once。　alas；　my　sacrifice　was　in　vain；　since　there　was　too　much　glare　and　i　couldnt　risk　opening　a　window。　an…　other　time；　several　months　ago；　i　happened　to　be　upstairs　one　night　when　the　window　was　open。　i　didnt　go　back　down　until　it　had　to　be　closed　again。　the　dark；　rainy　evening；　the　wind；　the　racing　clouds；　had　me　spellbound；　it　was　the　first　time　in　a　year　and　a　half　that　id　seen　the　night　face…to…face。　after　that　evening　my　longing　to　see　it　again　was　even　greater　than　my　fear　of　burglars；　a　dark　rat…infested　house　or　robberies。　i　went　downstairs　all　by　myself　and　looked　out　the　windows　in　the　kitchen　and　private　office。　many　people　think　nature　is　beautiful；　many　people　sleep　from　time　to　time　under　the　starry　sky；　and　many　people　in　hospitals　and　prisons　long　for　the　day　when　theyll　be　free　to　enjoy　what　nature　has　to　offer。　but　few　are　as　isolated　and　cut　off　as　we　are　from　dle　joys　of　nature；　which　can　be　shared　by　rich　and　poor　alike。

its　not　just　my　imagination　　looking　at　dle　sky；　dle　clouds；　dle　moon　and　dle　stars　really　does　make　me　feel　calm　and　hopeful。　its　much　better　medicine　than　valerian　or　bromide。　nature　makes　me　feel　humble　and　ready　to　face　every　blow　with　courage！

as　luck　would　have　it；　im　only　able　　except　for　a　few　rare　occasions…to　view　nature　through　dusty　curtains　tacked　over　dirt…caked　windows；　it　takes　dle　pleasure　out　of　looking。　nature　is　dle　one　thing　for　which　dlere　is　no　substitute！

one　of　dle　many　questions　that　have　often　bodlered　me　is　why　women　have　been；　and　still　are；　thought　to　be　so　inferior　to　men。　its　easy　to　say　its　unfair；　but　thats　not　enough　for　me；　id　really　like　to　know　the　reason　for　this　great　injustice！

men　presumably　dominated　women　from　the　very　beginning　because　of　their　greater　physical　strength；　its　men　who　earn　a　living；　beget　children　and　do　as　they　please。　。　。

until　recently；　women　silently　went　along　willi　this；　which　was　stupid；　since　the　longer　its　kept　up；　the　more　deeply　entrenched　it　bees。　fortunately；　education；　work　and　progress　have　opened　womens　eyes。　in　many　countries　theyve　been　granted　equal　rights；　many　people；　mainly　women；　but　also　men；　now　realize　how　wrong　it　was　to　tolerate　this　state　of　affairs　for　so　long。　modern　women　want　the　right　to　be　pletely　independent！

but　thats　not　all。　women　should　be　respected　as　well！　generally　speaking；　men　are　held　in　great　esteem　in　all　parts　ofthe　world；　so　why　shouldnt　women　have　their　share？　soldiers　and　war　heroes　are　honored　and　memorated；　explorers　are　granted　immortal　fame；　martyrs　are　revered；　but　how　many　people　look　upon　women　too　as　soldiers？

in　the　book　soldiers　on　the　home　front　i　was　greatly　struck　by　the　fact　that　in　childbirth　alone；　women　monly　suffer　more　pain；　illness　and　misery　than　any　war　hero　ever　does。　and　whats　her　reward　for　enduring　all　that　pain？　she　gets　pushed　aside　when　shes　disfigured　by　birth；　her　children　soon　leave；　her　beauty　is　gone。

women；　who　struggle　and　suffer　pain　to　ensure　the　con…　tinuation　of　the　human　race；　make　much　tougher　and　more　courageous　soldiers　than　all　those　big…mouthed　freedom…fighting　heroes　put　together！

i　dont　mean　to　imply　that　women　should　stop　having　children；　on　the　contrary；　nature　intended　them　to；　and　thats　the　way　it　should　be。　what　i　condemn　are　our　system　of　values　and　the　men　who　dont　acknowledge　how　great；　difficult；　but　ultimately　beautiful　womens　share　in　society　is。

i　agree　pletely　with　paul　de　kruif；　the　author　of　this　book；　when　he　says　that　men　must　learn　that　birth　is　no　longer　thought　of　as　inevitable　and　unavoidable　in　those　parts　of　the　world　we　consider　civthzed。　its　easy　for　men　to　talk　　they　dont　and　never　will　have　to　bear　the　woes　that　women　do！

i　believe　that　in　the　course　of　the　next　century　the　notion　that　its　a　womans　duty　to　have　children　will　change　and　make　way　for　the　respect　and　admiration　of　all　women；　who　bear　their　burdens　without　plaint　or　a　lot　of　pompous　words！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　june　16；　1944

dearest　kitty；

new　problems：　mrs。　van　d。　is　at　her　wits　end。　shes　talking　about　getting　shot；　being　thrown　in　prison；　being　hanged　and　suicide。　shes　jealous　that　peter　confides　in　me　and　not　in　her；　offended　that　dussel　doesnt　re…　spond　sufficiently　to　her　flirtations　and　afraid　her　husbands　going　to　squander　all　the　fur…coat　money　on　to…　bacco。　she　quarrels；　curses；　cries；　feels　sorry　for　herself；　laughs　and　starts　allover　again。

what　on　earth　can　you　do　with　such　a　silly；　sniveling　specimen　of　humanity？　nobody　takes　her　seriously；　she　has　no　strength　of　character；　she　plains　to　one　and　all；　and　you　should　see　how　she　walks　around：　von　hinten　lyzeum；　yon　vorne　museum。*　＇acts　like　a　schoolgirl；　looks　like　a　frump。＇　even　worse；　peters　being　insolent；　mr。　van　daan　irritable　and　mother　cynical。　yes；　everyones　in　quite　a　state！　theres　only　one　rule　you　need　to　remember：　laugh　at　everything　and　forget　everybody　else！　it　sounds　egotistical；　but　its　actually　the　only　cure　for　those　suffering　from　self…pity。

mr。　kuglers　supposed　to　spend　four　weeks　in　alkmaar　on　a　work　detail。　hes　trying　to　get　out　of　it　with　a　doctors　certificate　and　a　letter　from　opekta。　mr。　kleimans　hoping　his　stomach　will　be　operated　on　soon。　starting　at　eleven　last　night；　all　private　phones　were　cut　off。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　june　23；　1944

dearest　kitty；

nothing　special　going　on　here。　the　british　have　begun　their　all…out　attack　on　cherbourg。　according　to　pim　and　mr。　van　oaan；　were　sure　to　be　liberated　before　october　10。　the　russians　are　taking　part　in　the　cam…　paign；　yesterday　they　started　their　offensive　near　vitebsk；　exactly　three　years　to　the　day　that　the　germans　invaded　russia。

beps　spirits　have　sunk　lower　than　ever。　were　nearly　out　of　potatoes；　from　now　on；　were　going　to　count　them　out　for　each　person；　then　everyone　can　do　what　they　want　with　them。　starting　monday；　mieps　taking　a　week　of　vacation。　mr。　kleimans　doctors　havent　found　anything　on　the　x　rays。　hes　torn　between　having　an　operation　and　letting　matters　take　their　course。

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

tuesday；　june　27；　1944

my　dearest　kitty；

the　mood　has　changed；　everythings　going　enormously　well。　cherbourg；　vitebsk　and　zhlobin　fell　today。　theyre　sure　to　have　captured　lots　of　men　and　equipment。　five　german　generals　were　killed　near　cherbourg　and　two　taken　captive。　now　that　theyve　got　a　harbor；　the　british　can　bring　whatever　they　want　on　shore。　the　whole　cotentin　peninsula　has　been　captured　just　three　weeks　after　the　invasion！　what　a　feat！

in　the　three　weeks　since　d　day　there　hasnt　been　a　day　without　rain　and　storms；　neither　here　nor　in　france；　but　this　bad　luck　hasnt　kept　the　british　and　the　americans　from　displaying　their　might。　and　how！　of　course；　the　germans　have　launc