白噪音(White Noise) (英文版)作者:唐·德里罗(Don DeLillo)-第61章
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am。 To convert Fahrenheit to Celsius; this is what you do。〃
There was a silence。 Things began to glow。 The dumpy chair; the shabby dresser; the rumpled bed。 The bed was equipped with casters。 I thought; This is the grayish figure of my torment; the man who took my wife。 Did she wheel him around the room as he sat on the bed popping pills? Did each lie prone along one side of the bed; reaching an arm down to paddle? Did they make the bed spin with their lovemaking; a froth of pillows and sheets above the small wheels on swivels? Look at him now; glowing in the dark; showing a senile grin。
〃I barely forget the times I had in this room;〃 he said; 〃before I became misplaced。 There was a woman in a ski mask; which her name escapes me at the moment。 American sex; let me tell you; this is how I learned my English。〃
The air was rich with extrasensory material。 Nearer to death; nearer to second sight。 A smashing intensity。 I advanced two steps toward the middle of the room。 My plan was elegant。 Advance gradually; gain his confidence; take out the Zumwalt; fire three bullets at his midsection for maximum visceral agony; clear the weapon of prints; write suicidal cult messages on the mirrors and walls; take his supply of Dylar; slip back to the car; drive to the expressway entrance; head east toward Blacksmith; leave Stover's car in Treadwell's garage; walk home in the rain and the fog。
He gobbled more pills; flung others down the front of his Budweiser shorts。 I advanced one step。 There were cracked Dylar tablets all over the fire…retardant carpet。 Trod upon; stomped。 He tossed some tablets at the screen。 The set had a walnut veneer with silvery hardware。 The picture rolled badly。
〃Now I am picking up my metallic gold tube;〃 he said。 〃Using my palette knife and my odorless turp; I will thicken the paint on my palette。〃
I recalled Babette's remarks about the side effects of the medication。 I said; as a test; 〃Falling plane。〃
He looked at me; gripping the arms of the chair; the first signs of panic building in his eyes。
〃Plunging aircraft;〃 I said; pronouncing the words crisply; authoritatively。
He kicked off his sandals; folded himself over into the remended crash position; head well forward; hands clasped behind his knees。 He performed the maneuver automatically; with a double…jointed collapsible dexterity; throwing himself into it; like a child or a mime。 Interesting。 The drug not only caused the user to confuse words with the things they referred to; it made him act in a somewhat stylized way。 I watched him slumped there; trembling。 This was my plan。 Look peripherally into rooms; enter unannounced; reduce him to trembling; gut…shoot him maximally three times; get off at the river road; shut the garage door。
I took another step toward the middle of the room。 As the TV picture jumped; wobbled; caught itself in snarls; Mink appeared to grow more vivid。 The precise nature of events。 Things in their actual state。 Eventually he worked himself out of the deep fold; rising nicely; sharply outlined against the busy air。 White noise everywhere。
〃Containing iron; niacin and riboflavin。 I learned my English in airplanes。 It's the international language of aviation。 Why are you here; white man?〃 〃To buy。〃
〃You are very white; you know that?〃 〃It's because I'm dying。〃 〃This stuff fix you up。〃 〃I'll still die。〃
〃But it won't matter; which es to the same thing。 Some of these playful dolphins have been equipped with radio transmitters。 Their far…flung wanderings may tell us things。〃
I continued to advance in consciousness。 Things glowed; a secret life rising out of them。 Water struck the roof in elongated orbs; splashing drams。 I knew for the first time what rain really was。 I knew what wet was。 I understood the neurochemistry of my brain; the meaning of dreams (the waste material of premonitions)。 Great stuff everywhere; racing through the room; racing slowly。 A richness; a density。 I believed everything。 I was a Buddhist; a Jain; a Duck River Baptist。 My only sadness was Babette; having to kiss a scooped…out face。
〃She wore the ski mask so as not to kiss my face; which she said was un…American。 I told her a room is inside。 Do not enter a room not agreeing to this。 This is the point; as opposed to emerging coastlines; continental plates。 Or you can eat natural grains; vegetables; eggs; no fish; no fruit。 Or fruit; vegetables; animal proteins; no grains; no milk。 Or lots of soybean milk for B…12 and lots of vegetables to regulate insulin release but no meat; no fish; no fruit。 Or white meat but no red meat。 Or B…12 but no eggs。 Or eggs but no grains。 There are endless workable binations。〃
I was ready to kill him now。 But I didn't want to promise the plan。 The plan was elaborate。 Drive past the scene several times; approach the motel on foot; swivel my head to look peripherally into rooms; locate Mr。 Gray under his real name; enter unannounced; gain his confidence; advance gradually; reduce him to trembling; wait for an unguarded moment; take out the 。25…caliber Zumwalt automatic; fire three bullets into his viscera for maximum slowness; depth and intensity of pain; wipe the weapon clear of prints; place the weapon in the victim's hand to suggest the trite and predictable suicide of a motel recluse; smear crude words on the walls in the victim's own blood as evidence of his final cult…related frenzy; take his supply of Dylar; slip back to the car; take the expressway to Blacksmith; leave Stover's car in Treadwell's garage; shut the garage door; walk home in the rain and the fog。
I advanced into the area of flickering light; out of the shadows; seeking to loom。 I put my hand in my pocket; gripped the firearm。 Mink watched the screen。 I said to him gently; 〃Hail of bullets。〃 Keeping my hand in my pocket。
He hit the floor; began crawling toward the bathroom; looking back over his shoulder; childlike; miming; using principles of heightened design but showing real terror; brilliant cringing fear。 I followed him into the toilet; passing the full…length mirror where he'd undoubtedly posed with Babette; his shaggy member dangling like a ruminant's。
〃Fusillade;〃 I whispered。
He tried to wriggle behind the bowl; both arms over his head; his legs tight together。 I loomed in the doorway; conscious of looming; seeing myself from Mink's viewpoint; magnified; threatening。 It was time to tell him who I was。 This was part of my plan。 My plan was this。 Tell him who I am; let him know the reason for his slow and agonizing death。 I revealed my name; explained my relationship with the woman in the ski mask。
He put his hands over his crotch; tried to fit himself under the toilet tank; behind the bowl。 The intensity of the noise in the room was the same at all frequencies。 Sound all around。 I took out the Zumwalt。 Great and nameless emotions thudded on my chest。 I knew who 1 was in the network of meanings。 Water fell to earth in drops; causing surfaces to gleam。 I saw things new。
Mink took one hand from his crotch; grabbed more tablets from his pocket; hurled them toward his open mouth。 His face appeared at the end of the white room; a white buzz; the inner surface of a sphere。 He sat up; tearing open his shirt pocket to find more pills。 His fear was beautiful。 He said to me; 〃Did you ever wonder why; out of thirty…two teeth; these four cause so much trouble? I'll be back with the answer in a minute。〃
I fired the gun; the weapon; the pistol; the firearm; the automatic。 The sound snowballed in the white room; adding on reflected waves。 I watched blood squirt from the victim's midsection。 A delicate arc。 I marveled at the rich color; sensed the color…causing action of nonnucleated cells。 The flow diminished to a trickle; spread across the tile floor。 I saw beyond words。 I knew what red was; saw it in terms of dominant wavelength; luminance; purity。 Mink's pain was beautiful; intense。
I fired a second shot just to fire it; relive the experience; hear the sonic waves layering through the room; feel the jolt travel up my arm。 The bullet struck him just inside the right hipbone。 A claret stain appeared on his shorts and shirt。 I paused to notice him。 He sat wedged between the toilet bowl and wall; one sandal missing; eyes totally white。 I tried to see myself from Mink's viewpoint。 Looming; dominant; gaining life…power; storing up life…credit。 But he was too far gone to have a viewpoint。
It was going well。 I was pleased to see how well it was going。 The trucks rumbled overhead。 The shower curtain smelled of mildewed vinyl。 A richness; a smashing intensity。 I approached the sitting figure; careful not to step in blood; leave revealing prints。 I took out my handkerchief; wiped the weapon clean; placed it in Mink's hand; cautiously removing the handkerchief; painstakingly wrapping his bony fingers; one by one; around the stock; delicately working his index finger through the trigger guard。 He was foaming; a little; at the mouth。 I stepped back to survey the remains of the shattering moment; the scene of squalid violence and lonely death at the shadowy fringes of society。 This was my plan。 Step back; regard the squalor; make sure things were correctly placed。
Mink's