tg.stone of tears-第20章

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　He　was　still　staring　at　his　lap；　as　if　the　bowl　were　still　there。　‘I　don’t　know。　I　looked　down　at　the　meat；　and　then　I　could　smell　it。　It　made　me　feel　sick。　It　just　seemed　like　a　dead　animal　to　me。　Like　I　was　about　to　eat　some　dead　animal　lying　there　in　front　of　me。　How　could　anyone　eat　some　dead　animal　that　was　just　lying　there？’
　
　Kahlan　didn’t　know　what　to　say。　He　didn’t　look　well。　‘I　think　I　know　what　you　mean。　I　was　sick　once　and　they　fed　me　some　cheese。　I　threw　it　all　back　up。　They　thought　it　would　be　good　for　me；　and　every　day　fed　me　more；　and　I。　would　throw　it　up；　until　I　was　well　again。　That　is　why；　to　this　day；　I　don’t　like　cheese。　Maybe　it’s　something　like　that；　because　you　have　a　headache。’
　
　‘Maybe；’　he　said　in　a　weak　voice。　‘I　spent　a　long　time　at　the　People’s　Palace。　They　don’t　eat　meat　there。　Darken　Rahl　doesn’t　…　didn’t　…　eat　meat；　so　none　was　served　at　the　palace。　Maybe　I　just　got　used　to　not　eating　meat。’
　
　She　rubbed　his　back　as　he　put　his　head　in　his　hands；　running　his　fingers　through　his　hair。　First　cheese；　and　now　meat。　His　eating　habits　were　being　as　peculiar　as　。。。　a　wizard’s。
　
　‘Kahlan　。。。　I’m　sorry；　but　I　need　to　go　somewhere　where　it’s　quiet。　My　head　really　hurts。’
　
　She　put　her　hand　on　his　forehead。　His　skin　was　cold　and　clammy。　He　looked　about　ready　to　fall　over。　Her　insides　fluttered　with　worry。
　
　Kahlan　squatted　in　front　of　the　Bird　Man。　‘Richard　doesn’t　feel　well。　He　needs　to　go　somewhere　quiet。　Is　that　all　right？’
　
　At　first　he　thought　he　knew　why　they　wanted　to　leave。　His　smile　faded　when　he　saw　the　anxiety　on　her　face。　‘Take　him　to　the　spirit　house。　It　is　quiet　there。　No　one　will　bother　him。　Get　Nissel　if　you　think　there　be　need。’　A　little　of　his　smile　came　back。　‘Maybe　he　has　spent　too　much　time　on　the　dragon。　I　thank　the　spirits　my　gift　of　flight　was　short。’
　
　She　nodded；　unable　to　manage　much　of　a　smile；　and　said　a　quick　good　night　to　the　others。　Picking　up　both　their　packs；　she　put　a　hand　under　Richard’s　arm　and　helped　him　to　his　feet。　His　eyes　were　squeezed　shut；　his　eyebrows　wrinkled　together　in　pain。　The　pain　seemed　to　pass　a　little；　and　he　opened　his　eyes；　took　a　deep　breath；　and　started　off　with　her　across　the　open　area。
　
　The　shadows　were　thick　among　the　buildings；　but　the　moon　was　up；　giving　them　enough　light　to　see　their　way。　The　sounds　of　the　feast　faded　into　the　background；　leaving　only　the　slow　scrape　of　Richard’s　boots…　scuffing　on　the　dry　ground。
　
　He　straightened　a　little。　‘I　think　some　of　it　has　passed。’
　
　‘Do　you　get　headaches　often？’
　
　He　smiled　over　to　her　in　the　moonlight。　‘I’m　famous　for　my　headaches。　My　father　told　me　that　my　mother　used　to　get　headaches　like　the　ones　I　get；　where　you　feel　sick　to　your　stomach　because　your　head　hurts　so　much。　But　this　one　is　different。　I’ve　never　had　ones　like　this　before。　It’s　like　something　inside　my　head　is　trying　to　get　out。’　He　took　his　pack　from　her　and　hoisted　it　to　his　shoulder。　‘It　hurts　more　than　my　other　headaches。’
　
　They　passed　from　the　narrow　passageways　to　the　wide　space　around　the　spirit　house。　It　sat　by　itself；　moonlight　reflecting　off　the　tile　roof　Richard　had　helped　the　Mud　People　build。　Wisps　of　smoke　rose　from　the　chimney。
　
　Around　the　side；　by　the　door；　a　row　of　chickens　roosted　on　a　low　wall。　They　watched　as　she　pulled　the　door　open　for　him；　starting　a　little　at　the　squeak　of　the　hinges；　and　settled　down　as　the　two　of　them　passed　inside。
　
　Richard　flopped　down　in　front　of　the　fireplace。　Kahlan　pulled　out　a　blanket　and　made　him　lie　back；　bunching　the　blanket　under　his　head。　He　rested　the　back　of　his　wrist　over　his　eyes　as　she　sat；　cross…legged；　next　to　him。
　
　Kahlan　felt　helpless。　‘I　think　I　should　go　get　Nissel。　Maybe　a　healer　can　do　something　for　you。’
　
　He　shook　his　head。　‘I’ll　be　all　right。　I　just　need　to　be　away　from　all　the　noise。’　He　smiled；　his　arm　still　over　his　eyes。　‘Have　you　ever　noticed　how　badly　we　do　at　parties？　Every　time　we　are　at　a　party　something　happens。’
　
　Kahlan　thought　back　to　every　gathering　they　had　been　at　together。　‘I　think　you’re　right。’　She　rubbed　a　hand　on　his　chest。　‘I　think　the　only　solution　is　for　us　to　be　alone。’
　
　Richard　kissed　her　hand。　‘I　would　like　that。’
　
　She　enfolded　his　big　hand　in　both　of　hers；　wanting　to　feel　the　warmth　of　him　as　she　watched　him　rest。　It　was　dead　quiet　in　the　spirit　house；　except　for　the　slow　crackling　of　the　fire。　She　listened　to　his　slow；　steady　breathing。
　
　After　a　while；　he　slid　his　hand　away；　and　looked　up　at　her。　Firelight　reflected　in　his　eyes。　There　was　something　about　his　face；　his　eyes；　something　her　mind　was　trying　to　tell　her。　He　looked　like　someone　else　she　had　met；　but　who？　A　name　whispered　in　the　back　of　her　thoughts；　but　she　couldn’t　quite　hear　it。　She　stroked　his　hair　back　off　his　forehead。　His　skin　didn’t　feel　quite　so　cold。
　
　He　sat　up。　‘I　just　thought　of　something。　I　asked　the　elders　for　permission　to　marry　you；　but　I　haven’t　really　asked　you。’
　
　Kahlan　smiled。　‘No；　you　haven’t。’
　
　Suddenly　he　looked　embarrassed　and　unsure　of　himself。
　
　His　eyes　wandered　a　little。　That　was　really　stupid。　I’m　sorry。　That　wasn’t　the　right　way　to　do　it。　I　hope　you’re　not　angry。　I　guess　I’m　not　very　good　at　this。　I’ve　never　done　it　before。’
　
　‘Me　neither。’
　
　‘And　I　guess　this　isn’t　the　most　romantic　place　to　do　it。　It　should　be　someplace　beautiful。’
　
　‘Wherever　you　are　is　the　most　romantic　place　in　the　world　to　me。’
　
　‘And　I　guess　I　must　look　pretty　silly　asking　you　something　like　this　when　I’m　lying　here　with　a　headache。’
　
　‘If　you　don’t　ask　me　pretty　soon；　Richard　Cypher；’　she　whispered；　‘I’m　going　to　choke　it　out　of　you。’
　
　His　eyes　finally　found　hers；　found　hers　so　intently　it　nearly　took　her　breath　away。　‘Kahlan　Amnell；　will　you　marry　me？’
　
　Quite　unexpectedly；　she　found　she　couldn’t　speak。　She　closed　her　eyes　and　kissed　his　soft　lips　as　a　tear　rolled　down　her　cheek。　His　arms　closed　around　her；　hugging　her　tight　against　the　heat　of　him。　She　pulled　back　breathlessly。　Her　voice　at　last　returned。　‘Yes。’　She　kissed　him　again。　‘Please；　yes。’
　
　Kahlan　laid　her　head　against　his　shoulder。　Richard　gently　stroked　her　hair　as　she　listened　to　his　breathing　and　the　crackle　of　the　fire。　He　held　her　tenderly　and　kissed　the　top　of　her　head；　there　being　no　need　for　words。　She　felt　safe　in　his　arms。
　
　Kahlan　let　loose　her　pain：　the　pain　of　loving　him　more　than　life　itself　and　thinking　he　had　been　tortured　to　death　by　the　Mord…Sith　before　she　could　tell　him　how　much　she　loved　him；　the　pain　of　having　thought　she　could　never　have　him　because　she　was　a　Confessor　and　her　power　would　destroy　him；　the　hurt　of　how　much　she　needed　him；　how　uncontrollably　she　loved　him。
　
　As　her　anguish　expended　itself；　it　was　replaced　by　her　joy　in　what　lay　ahead：　a　lifetime；　together。　The　breathless　excitement　of　it　seeped　into　her。　She　clutched　at　him；　wanting　to　melt　into　him；　wanting　to　be　one　with　him。
　
　Kahlan　smiled。　That　was　what　being　married　to　him　would　be：　being　one　with　him；　as　Zedd　had　told　her　once　…like　finding　the　other　half　of　herself。
　
　When　she　finally　looked　up；　there　was　a　tear　on　his　face。　She　wiped　the　tears　from　her　cheeks；　and　he　did　the　same。　She　hoped　his　tears　meant　he　had　let　his　demons　go；　too。
　
　‘I　love　you；’　she　whispered。
　
　Richard　pulled　her　tight　against　him。　His　fingers　traced　a　trail　down　the　bumps　of　her　spine。
　
　‘I　feel　so　frustrated　that　there　aren’t　any　better　words　than　‘I　love　you；’’　he　said。　‘It　doesn’t　seem　enough　for　the　way　I　feel　about　you。　I’m　sorry　there　aren’t　any　better　words　to　tell　you。’
　
　They　are　words　enough　for　me。’
　
　‘Then；　I　love　you；　Kahlan。　A　thousand　times；　a　million　times；　I　love　you。　Forever。’
　
　She　listened　to　the　snap　and　pop　of　the　fire；　and　to　his　heart　beating。　To　her　own　heartbeat。　He　rocked　her　gently。　She　wanted　to　stay　there　in　his　arms　forever。　Suddenly　the　world　seemed　a　wonderful　place。
　
　Richard　grasped　her　shoulders　and　held　her　away　to　better　see　her。　A　wonderful　smile　spread　across　his　face。　‘I　can’t　believe　how　beautiful　you　are。　I　have　never　seen　anyone　as　beautiful　as　you。’　He　ran　a　hand　down　her　hair。　‘I’m　so　glad　I　didn’t　cut　your　hair　that　time。　You　have　beautiful　hair。　Don’t　ever　change　it。’
　
　‘I’m　a　Confessor；　remember？　My　hair　is　a　symbol　of　my　power。　Besides；　I　can’t　cut　it。　Only　another　can　do　that。’
　
　‘Good。　I　would　never　cut　it。　I　love　you　the　way　you　are；　power　and　all。　Don’t　ever　let　anyone　cut　it。　I’ve　liked　your　long　hair　ever　since　the　first　day　I　saw　you；　in　the　Hartland　Woods。’
　
　She　smiled　as　she　remembered　that　day。　Richard　had　offered　her　help　in　escaping　from　the　quads。　He　had　saved　her　life。　‘It　seems　so　long　ago。　Will　you　miss　that　life？　Being　a　simple；　carefree　woods　guide？’　She　smiled　coquettishly。　And　single？’
　
　Richard　grinned。　‘Single？　Not　with　you　as　my　wife。　But　a　woods　guide？　Maybe　a　little。’　He　stared　off　at　the　fire。　‘I　guess　that　for　better　or　worse；　I　am　the　true　Seeker。　I　hold　the　Sword　of　Truth；　and　the　responsibi