英语天堂-第123章

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uld　be　impossible；　and　he　told　me　that；　if　we　were　only　faithful　to　each　other；　it　was　marriage　before　God。　If　that　is　true；　wasn’t　I　that　man’s　wife？　Wasn’t　I　faithful？　For　seven　years；　didn’t　I　study　every　look　and　motion；　and　only　live　and　breathe　to　please　him？　He　had　the　yellow　fever；　and　for　twenty　days　and　nights　I　watched　with　him。　I　alone；—and　gave　him　all　his　medicine；　and　did　everything　for　him；　and　then　he　called　me　his　good　angel；　and　said　I’d　saved　his　life。　We　had　two　beautiful　children。　The　first　was　a　boy；　and　we　called　him　Henry。　He　was　the　image　of　his　father；—he　had　such　beautiful　eyes；　such　a　forehead；　and　his　hair　hung　all　in　curls　around　it；　and　he　had　all　his　father’s　spirit；　and　his　talent；　too。　Little　Elise；　he　said；　looked　like　me。　He　used　to　tell　me　that　I　was　the　most　beautiful　woman　in　Louisiana；　he　was　so　proud　of　me　and　the　children。　He　used　to　love　to　have　me　dress　them　up；　and　take　them　and　me　about　in　an　open　carriage；　and　hear　the　remarks　that　people　would　make　on　us；　and　he　used　to　fill　my　ears　constantly　with　the　fine　things　that　were　said　in　praise　of　me　and　the　children。　O；　those　were　happy　days！　I　thought　I　was　as　happy　as　any　one　could　be；　but　then　there　came　evil　times。　He　had　a　cousin　come　to　New　Orleans；　who　was　his　particular　friend；—he　thought　all　the　world　of　him；—but；　from　the　first　time　I　saw　him；　I　couldn’t　tell　why；　I　dreaded　him；　for　I　felt　sure　he　was　going　to　bring　misery　on　us。　He　got　Henry　to　going　out　with　him；　and　often　he　would　not　come　home　nights　till　two　or　three　o’clock。　I　did　not　dare　say　a　word；　for　Henry　was　so　high　spirited；　I　was　afraid　to。　He　got　him　to　the　gaming…houses；　and　he　was　one　of　the　sort　that；　when　he　once　got　a　going　there；　there　was　no　holding　back。　And　then　he　introduced　him　to　another　lady；　and　I　saw　soon　that　his　heart　was　gone　from　me。　He　never　told　me；　but　I　saw　it；—I　knew　it；　day　after　day；—I　felt　my　heart　breaking；　but　I　could　not　say　a　word！　At　this；　the　wretch　offered　to　buy　me　and　the　children　of　Henry；　to　clear　off　his　gamblng　debts；　which　stood　in　the　way　of　his　marrying　as　he　wished；—and　he　sold　us。　He　told　me；　one　day；　that　he　had　business　in　the　country；　and　should　be　gone　two　or　three　weeks。　He　spoke　kinder　than　usual；　and　said　he　should　come　back；　but　it　didn’t　deceive　me。　I　knew　that　the　time　had　come；　I　was　just　like　one　turned　into　stone；　I　couldn’t　speak；　nor　shed　a　tear。　He　kissed　me　and　kissed　the　children；　a　good　many　times；　and　went　out。　I　saw　him　get　on　his　horse；　and　I　watched　him　till　he　was　quite　out　of　sight；　and　then　I　fell　down；　and　fainted。
“Then　he　came；　the　cursed　wretch！　he　came　to　take　possession。　He　told　me　that　he　had　bought　me　and　my　children；　and　showed　me　the　papers。　I　cursed　him　before　God；　and　told　him　I’d　die　sooner　than　live　with　him。”
“‘Just　as　you　please；’　said　he；　‘but；　if　you　don’t　behave　reasonably；　I’ll　sell　both　the　children；　where　you　shall　never　see　them　again。’　He　told　me　that　he　always　had　meant　to　have　me；　from　the　first　time　he　saw　me；　and　that　he　had　drawn　Henry　on；　and　got　him　in　debt；　on　purpose　to　make　him　willing　to　sell　me。　That　he　got　him　in　love　with　another　woman；　and　that　I　might　know；　after　all　that；　that　he　should　not　give　up　for　a　few　airs　and　tears；　and　things　of　that　sort。
“I　gave　up；　for　my　hands　were　tied。　He　had　my　children；—whenever　I　resisted　his　will　anywhere；　he　would　talk　about　selling　them；　and　he　made　me　as　submissive　as　he　desired。　O；　what　a　life　it　was！　to　live　with　my　heart　breaking；　every　day；—to　keep　on；　on；　on；　loving；　when　it　was　only　misery；　and　to　be　bound；　body　and　soul；　to　one　I　hated。　I　used　to　love　to　read　to　Henry；　to　play　to　him；　to　waltz　with　him；　and　sing　to　him；　but　everything　I　did　for　this　one　was　a　perfect　drag；—yet　I　was　afraid　to　refuse　anything。　He　was　very　imperious；　and　harsh　to　the　children。　Elise　was　a　timid　little　thing；　but　Henry　was　bold　and　high…spirited；　like　his　father；　and　he　had　never　been　brought　under；　in　the　least；　by　any　one。　He　was　always　finding　fault；　and　quarrelling　with　him；　and　I　used　to　live　in　daily　fear　and　dread。　I　tried　to　make　the　child　respectful；—I　tried　to　keep　them　apart；　for　I　held　on　to　those　children　like　death；　but　it　did　no　good。　He　sold　both　those　children。　He　took　me　to　ride；　one　day；　and　when　I　came　home；　they　were　nowhere　to　be　found！　He　told　me　he　had　sold　them；　he　showed　me　the　money；　the　price　of　their　blood。　Then　it　seemed　as　if　all　good　forsook　me。　I　raved　and　cursed；—cursed　God　and　man；　and；　for　a　while；　I　believe；　he　really　was　afraid　of　me。　But　he　didn’t　give　up　so。　He　told　me　that　my　children　were　sold；　but　whether　I　ever　saw　their　faces　again；　depended　on　him；　and　that；　if　I　wasn’t　quiet；　they　should　smart　for　it。　Well；　you　can　do　anything　with　a　woman；　when　you’ve　got　her　children。　He　made　me　submit；　he　made　me　be　peaceable；　he　flattered　me　with　hopes　that；　perhaps；　he　would　buy　them　back；　and　so　things　went　on；　a　week　or　two。　One　day；　I　was　out　walking；　and　passed　by　the　calaboose；　I　saw　a　crowd　about　the　gate；　and　heard　a　child’s　voice；—and　suddenly　my　Henry　broke　away　from　two　or　three　men　who　were　holding　the　poor　boy　screamed　and　looked　into　my　face；　and　held　on　to　me；　until；　in　tearing　him　off；　they　tore　the　skirt　of　my　dress　half　away；　and　they　carried　him　in；　screaming　‘Mother！　mother！　mother！’　There　was　one　man　stood　there　seemed　to　pity　me。　I　offered　him　all　the　money　I　had；　if　he’d　only　interfere。　He　shook　his　head；　and　said　that　the　boy　had　been　impudent　and　disobedient；　ever　since　he　bought　him；　that　he　was　going　to　break　him　in；　once　for　all。　I　turned　and　ran；　and　every　step　of　the　way；　I　thought　that　I　heard　him　scream。　I　got　into　the　house；　ran；　all　out　of　breath；　to　the　parlor；　where　I　found　Butler。　I　told　him；　and　begged　him　to　go　and　interfere。　He　only　laughed；　and　told　me　the　boy　had　got　his　deserts。　He’d　got　to　be　broken　in；—the　sooner　the　better；　‘what　did　I　expect？’　he　asked。
“It　seemed　to　me　something　in　my　head　snapped；　at　that　moment。　I　felt　dizzy　and　furious。　I　remember　seeing　a　great　sharp　bowie…knife　on　the　table；　I　remember　something　about　catching　it；　and　flying　upon　him；　and　then　all　grew　dark；　and　I　didn’t　know　any　more；—not　for　days　and　days。
“When　I　came　to　myself；　I　was　in　a　nice　room；—but　not　mine。　An　old　black　woman　tended　me；　and　a　doctor　came　to　see　me；　and　there　was　a　great　deal　of　care　taken　of　me。　After　a　while；　I　found　that　he　had　gone　away；　and　left　me　at　this　house　to　be　sold；　and　that’s　why　they　took　such　pains　with　me。
“I　didn’t　mean　to　get　well；　and　hoped　I　shouldn’t；　but；　in　spite　of　me　the　fever　went　off　and　I　grew　healthy；　and　finally　got　up。　Then；　they　made　me　dress　up；　every　day；　and　gentlemen　used　to　come　in　and　stand　and　smoke　their　cigars；　and　look　at　me；　and　ask　questions；　and　debate　my　price。　I　was　so　gloomy　and　silent；　that　none　of　them　wanted　me。　They　threatened　to　whip　me；　if　I　wasn’t　gayer；　and　didn’t　take　some　pains　to　make　myself　agreeable。　At　length；　one　day；　came　a　gentleman　named　Stuart。　He　seemed　to　have　some　feeling　for　me；　he　saw　that　something　dreadful　was　on　my　heart；　and　he　came　to　see　me　alone；　a　great　many　times；　and　finally　persuaded　me　to　tell　him。　He　bought　me；　at　last；　and　promised　to　do　all　he　could　to　find　and　buy　back　my　children。　He　went　to　the　hotel　where　my　Henry　was；　they　told　him　he　had　been　sold　to　a　planter　up　on　Pearl　river；　that　was　the　last　that　I　ever　heard。　Then　he　found　where　my　daughter　was；　an　old　woman　was　keeping　her。　He　offered　an　immense　sum　for　her；　but　they　would　not　sell　her。　Butler　found　out　that　it　was　for　me　he　wanted　her；　and　he　sent　me　word　that　I　should　never　have　her。　Captain　Stuart　was　very　kind　to　me；　he　had　a　splendid　plantation；　and　took　me　to　it。　In　the　course　of　a　year；　I　had　a　son　born。　O；　that　child！—how　I　loved　it！　How　just　like　my　poor　Henry　the　little　thing　looked！　But　I　had　made　up　my　mind；—yes；　I　had。　I　would　never　again　let　a　child　live　to　grow　up！　I　took　the　little　fellow　in　my　arms；　when　he　was　two　weeks　old；　and　kissed　him；　and　cried　over　him；　and　then　I　gave　him　laudanum；　and　held　him　close　to　my　bosom；　while　he　slept　to　death。　How　I　mourned　and　cried　over　it！　and　who　ever　dreamed　that　it　was　anything　but　a　mistake；　that　had　made　me　give　it　the　laudanum？　but　it’s　one　of　the　few　things　that　I’m　glad　of；　now。　I　am　not　sorry；　to　this　day；　he；　at　least；　is　out　of　pain。　What　better　than　death　could　I　give　him；　poor　child！　After　a　while；　the　cholera　came；　and　Captain　Stuart　died；　everybody　died　that　wanted　to　live；—and　I；—I；　though　I　went　down　to　death’s　door；—I　lived！　Then　I　was　sold；　and　passed　from　hand　to　hand；　till　I　grew　faded　and　wrinkled；　and　I　had　a　fever；　and　then　this　wretch　bought　me；　and　brought　me　here；—and　here　I　am！”
The　woman　stopped。　She　had　hurried　on　through　her　story；　with　a　wild；　passionate　utterance；　sometimes　seeming　to　address　it　to　Tom；　and　sometimes　speaking　as　in　a　soliloquy。　So　vehement　and　overpowering　was　the　force　with　which　she　spoke；　that；　for　a　season；　Tom　was　beguiled　even　from　the　pain　of　his　wounds；　and；　raising　himself　on　one　elbow；　watched　her　as　she　paced　restlessly　up　and　down；　her　long　black　hair　swaying　heavily　about　her；　as　she　moved。
“You　tell　me；”　she　said；