my name is red-我的名字叫红-第69章
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bodies; brown eggs and legendary sky…blue horses。 The world was faithful to
the illustrations and legends that I’d avidly scrutinized over the years。 I beheld
Creation with awe and surprise as if for the first time; but also as if it’d
somehow emerged from my memory。 What I called “memory” contained an
entire world: With time spread out infinitely before me in both directions; I
understood how the world as I first experienced it could persist afterward as
memory。 As I died surrounded by this festival of color; I also discovered why I
felt so relaxed; as if I’d been liberated from a straitjacket: From now on;
nothing was restricted; and I had unlimited time and space in which to
experience all eras and all places。
As soon as I realized this freedom; with fear and ecstasy I knew I was close
to Him; at the same time; I humbly felt the presence of an absolutely
matchless red。
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Within a short period; red imbued all。 The beauty of this color suffused me
and the whole universe。 As I approached His Being in this manner; I had the
urge to cry out in jubilation。 I was suddenly ashamed to be taken into His
presence; drenched in blood as I was。 Another part of my mind recalled what
I’d read in books on death; that He would enlist Azrael and His other angels to
summon me to His presence。
Would I be able to see Him? I wasn’t able to breathe out of excitement。
The red approaching me—the omnipresent red within which all the images
of the universe played—was so magnificent and beautiful that it quickened my
tears to think I would bee part of it and be so close to Him。
But I also knew He’d e no closer to me than He already had; He’d
inquired about me from His angels and they’d praised me; He saw me as a
loyal servant bound to His mandments and prohibitions; and He loved
me。
My mounting joy and flowing tears were abruptly poisoned by a nagging
doubt。 Guilt…ridden and impatient in my uncertainty; I asked Him:
“Over the last twenty years of my life; I’ve been influenced by the infidel
illustrations that I saw in Venice。 There was even a time when I wanted my
own portrait painted in that method and style; but I was afraid。 Instead; I later
had Your World; Your Subjects and Our Sultan; Your Shadow on Earth;
depicted in the manner of the infidel Franks。”
I didn’t remember His voice; but I recalled the answer He gave me in my
thoughts。
“East and West belong to me。”
I could barely contain my excitement。
“All right then; what is the meaning of it all; of this…of this world?”
“Mystery;” I heard in my thoughts; or perhaps; “mercy;” but I wasn’t
certain of either。
By the way the angels had e near me; I knew some sort of decision had
been made about me at this height of the heavens; but I’d have to wait in the
divine balance of Berzah with the mass of other souls who’d died over the last
tens of thousands of years until the Day of Judgment; when the final decision
about us would be made。 That everything transpired the way it was recorded
in books pleased me。 I recalled from my readings as I descended that I’d be
reunited with my body during my burial。
252
But I quickly understood that the phenomenon of “reentering my lifeless
body” was just a figure of speech; thank goodness。 Despite their sorrow; the
dignified funeral congregation that filled me with pride was astonishingly
organized as it shouldered my coffin after the prayers and descended into the
little Hillock Cemetery beside the mosque。 From above; the procession
appeared like a thin and delicate length of string。
Let me clarify my situation: As might be inferred from the well…known
legend of Our Prophet—which states “The soul of the faithful is a bird that
feeds from the trees of Heaven”—after death; the soul roams the firmament。
As claimed by Abu ?mer bin Abdülber; the interpretation of this legend
doesn’t mean that the soul will possess a bird or even bee a bird itself; but
as the learned El Jevziyye aptly clarifies; it means that the soul can be found
where birds gather。 The spot from which I was observing things; what the
Veian masters who love perspective would call my “point of view;”
confirmed El Jevziyye’s interpretation。
From where I was; for example; I could both see the threadlike funeral
procession entering the cemetery; and with the pleasure of analyzing a
painting; watch a sailboat gaining speed; its sails gorging on wind as it tacked
toward Palace Point; where the Golden Horn met the Bosphorus。 Looking
down from the height of a minaret; the whole world resembled a magnificent
book whose pages I was examining one by one。
Still; I could see much more than a man who’d simply ascended to such
heights without his soul having left his body; and furthermore; I could see it
all at once: On the other side of the Bosphorus; beyond üsküdar; among
gravestones in an empty yard; children playing leapfrog; the graceful
progression of the Vizier of Diplomatic Affair’s ca?que propelled by seven pairs
of oarsmen twelve years and seven months ago; when we acpanied the
Veian ambassador from his seaside mansion to be received by the Grand
Vizier; Bald Ragip Pasha; a portly woman in the new Langa bazaar holding a
huge head of cabbage like a child she was about to nurse; my elation when the
Divan Herald Ramazan Effendi died; opening the way for my own
advancement; how I stared as a child from my grandmother’s lap at red shirts
while my mother hung the laundry to dry in the courtyard; how I ran to
distant neighborhoods in search of the midwife when Shekure’s mother; may
she rest in peace; had gone into labor; the location of the red belt I’d lost over
forty years ago (I know now that Vasfi stole it); the splendid garden in the
distance that I’d dreamed about once twenty…one years ago; which I pray Allah
will one day confirm is Heaven; the severed heads; noses; and ears sent to
253
Istanbul by Ali Bey; the Governor…General of Georgia; who suppressed the
rebels in the fortress of Gori; and my beautiful; dear Shekure; who separated
herself from the neighborhood women mourning over me in the house and
stared into the flames of the brick stove in our courtyard。
As is recorded in books and confirmed by scholars; the soul dwells in four
realms: 1。 the womb; 2。 the terrestrial world; 3。 Berzah; or divine limbo; where
I now await Judgment Day; and 4。 Heaven or Hell; where I will arrive after the
Judgment。
From the intermediate state of Berzah; past and present time appear at
once; and as long as the soul remains within its memories; limitations of place
do not obtain。 Only when one escapes the dungeons of time and space does it
bees evident that life is a straitjacket。 However blissful it is being a soul
without a body in the realm of the dead; so too is being a body without a soul
among the living; what a pity nobody realizes this before dying。 Therefore;
during my lovely funeral; as I grievously watched my dear Shekure wear herself
out weeping in vain; I begged of Exalted Allah to grant us souls…without…bodies
in Heaven and bodies…without…souls in life。
254
IT IS I; MASTER OSMAN
You know about those ornery old men who’ve charitably devoted their lives to
art。 They’ll attack anyone who gets in their way。 They’re usually gaunt; bony
and tall。 They’ll want the dwindling number of days before them to be just like
the long period they’ve left behind。 They’re short…tempered; and they
plain about everything。 They’ll try to grab the reins in all situations;
causing everyone around them to throw up their hands in frustration; they
don’t like anyone or anything。 I know; because I’m one of them。
The master of masters Nurullah Selim Chelebi; with whom I had the honor
of making illustrations knee to knee in the same workshop; was this way in his
eighties; when I was but a sixteen…year…old apprentice (though he wasn’t as
peevish as I am now)。 Blond Ali; the last of the great masters; laid to rest thirty
years ago; was also this way (though he wasn’t as thin and tall as I am)。 Since
the arrows of criticism aimed at these legendary masters; who directed the
workshops of their day noe in the back; I want you to
know that the hackneyed accusations leveled at us are entirely unfounded。
These are the facts:
1。 The reason we don’t like anything innovative is that there is truly nothing
new worth liking。
2。 We treat most men like morons because; indeed; most men are morons;
not because we’re poisoned by anger; unhappiness or some other flaw in