[科幻]宿主-第91章

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my　back　still　turned。

　“So…　um…　hmm…　the；　uh；　third　set　of　grandparents…　They　traditionally　serve　the　munity；　as　they　
see　it。　On　Earth；　they　would　be　the　breadwinners；　the　ones　who　leave　the　home　and　bring　back　
sustenance。　They　are　farmers；　for　the　most　part。　They　cultivate　a　plant…like　growth　that　they　milk　for　its　
sap。…”

　And　life　went　on。

　Jamie　tried　to　talk　me　out　of　sleeping　in　the　supply　corridor；　but　his　attempt　was　halfhearted。　There　just　
wasn’t　another　place　for　me。　Stubborn　as　usual；　he　insisted　on　sharing　my　quarters。　I　imagined　Jared　
didn’t　like　that；　but　as　I　didn’t　see　him　that　night　or　the　next　day；　I　couldn’t　verify　my　theory。

　It　was　awkward　again；　going　about　my　usual　chores；　with　the　six　raiders　home—just　like　when　Jeb　had　
first　forced　me　to　join　the　munity。　Hostile　stares；　angry　silences。　It　was　harder　for　them　than　it　was　for　
me；　though—Iwas　used　to　it。　They；　on　the　other　hand；　were　entirely　unaccustomed　to　the　way　everyone　
else　treated　me。　When　I　was　helping　with　the　corn　harvest；　for　example；　and　Lily　thanked　me　for　a　fresh　
basket　with　a　smile；　Andy’s　eyes　bulged　in　their　sockets　at　the　exchange。　Or　when　I　was　waiting　for　the　
bathing　pool　with　Trudy　and　Heidi；　and　Heidi　began　playing　with　my　hair。　It　was　growing；　always　
swinging　in　my　eyes　these　days；　and　I　was　planning　to　shear　it　off　again。　Heidi　was　trying　to　find　a　style　
for　me；　flipping　the　strands　this　way　and　that。　Brandt　and　Aaron—Aaron　was　the　oldest　man　who’d　gone　
on　the　long　raid；　someone　I　couldn’t　remember　having　seen　before　at　all—came　out　and　found　us　there；　
Trudy　laughing　at　some　silly　atrocity　Heidi　was　attempting　to　create　atop　my　head；　and　both　men　turned　a　
little　green　and　stalked　silently　past　us。

　Of　course；　little　things　like　that　were　nothing。　Kyle　roamed　the　caves　now；　and　though　he　was　obviously　
under　orders　to　leave　me　in　peace；　his　expression　made　it　clear　that　this　restriction　was　repugnant　to　him。　
I　was　always　with　others　when　I　crossed　his　path；　and　I　wondered　if　that　was　the　only　reason　he　did　
nothing　more　than　glower　at　me　and　unconsciously　curl　his　thick　fingers　into　claws。　This　brought　back　all　
the　panic　from　my　first　weeks　here；　and　I　might　have　succumbed　to　it—begun　hiding　again；　avoiding　the　
mon　areas—but　something　more　important　than　Kyle’s　murderous　glares　came　to　my　attention　that　
second　night。

　The　kitchen　filled　up　again—I’m　not　sure　how　much　was　interest　in　my　stories　and　how　much　was　
interest　in　the　chocolate　bars　Jeb　handed　out。　I　declined　mine；　explaining　to　a　disgruntled　Jamie　that　I　
couldn’t　talk　and　chew　at　the　same　time；　I　suspected　that　he　would　save　one　for　me；　obstinate　as　ever。　
Ian　was　back　in　his　usual　hot　seat　by　the　fire；　and　Andy　was　there—eyes　wary—beside　Paige。　None　of　
the　other　raiders；　including　Jared；　of　course；　was　in　attendance。　Doc　was　not　there；　and　I　wondered　if　he　
was　still　drunk　or　perhaps　hung…over。　And　again；　Walter　was　absent。

　Geoffrey；　Trudy’s　husband；　questioned　me　for　the　first　time　tonight。　I　was　pleased；　though　I　tried　not　to　
show　it；　that　he　seemed　to　have　joined　the　ranks　of　the　humans　who　tolerated　me。　But　I　couldn’t　answer　

　

spoke；　and　I　didn’t　recognize　the　voice。　
“Yes；　that’s　true；”　I　agreed　evenly。　
“So　you　don’t　know　what　they　use　to　cure　diseases；　then？”　Geoffrey　pressed。　“What’s　in　their　

medications？”　
I　shook　my　head。　“I’m　sorry；　I　don’t。　It　wasn’t　something　I　was　interested　in；　back　when　I　had　access　to　
the　information。　I’m　afraid　I　took　it　for　granted。　Good　health　is　simply　a　given　on　every　planet　I’ve　lived　
on。”　
Geoffrey’s　red　cheeks　flushed　brighter　than　usual。　He　looked　down；　an　angry　set　to　his　mouth。　What　had　

I　said　to　offend　him？　
Heath；　sitting　beside　Geoffrey；　patted　his　arm。　There　was　a　pregnant　silence　in　the　room。　
“Uh—about　the　Vultures…”　Ian　said—the　words　were　forced；　a　deliberate　subject　change。　“I　don’t　

know　if　I　missed　this　part　sometime；　but　I　don’t　remember　you　ever　explaining　about　them　being　

‘unkind’…　？”　
It　wasn’t　something　Ihad　explained；　but　I　was　pretty　sure　he　wasn’t　really　that　interested—this　was　just　
the　first　question　he’d　been　able　to　think　of。

　My　informal　class　ended　earlier　than　usual。　The　questions　were　slow；　and　most　of　them　supplied　by　

Jamie　and　Ian。　Geoffrey’s　questions　had　left　everyone　else　preoccupied。　
“Well；　we’ve　got　an　early　one　tomorrow；　tearing　down　the　stalks…”　Jeb　mused　after　yet　another　
awkward　silence；　making　the　words　a　dismissal。　People　rose　to　their　feet　and　stretched；　talking　in　low　
voices　that　weren’t　casual　enough。

　“What　did　I　say？”　I　whispered　to　Ian。　
“Nothing。　They’ve　got　mortality　on　their　minds。”　He　sighed。　
My　human　brain　made　one　of　those　leaps　in　understanding　that　they　called　intuition。　
“Where’s　Walter？”　I　demanded；　still　whispering。　
Ian　sighed　again。　“He’s　in　the　south　wing。　He’s…　not　doing　well。”　
“Why　didn’t　anyone　tell　me？”　


　

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”　
I　shook　my　head　impatiently　at　that　consideration。　“What’s　wrong　with　him？”　
Jamie　was　there　beside　me　now；　he　took　my　hand。　
“Some　of　Walter’s　bones　snapped；　they’re　so　brittle；”　he　said　in　a　hushed　voice。　“Doc’s　sure　it’s　


cancer—final　stages；　he　says。”　
“Walt　must　have　been　keeping　quiet　about　the　pain　for　a　long　while　now；”　Ian　added　somberly。　
I　winced。　“And　there’s　nothing　to　be　done？　Nothing　at　all？”　
Ian　shook　his　head；　keeping　his　brilliant　eyes　on　mine。　“Not　for　us。　Even　if　we　weren’t　stuck　here；　there　


would　be　no　help　for　him　now。　We　never　cured　that　one。”　
I　bit　my　lip　against　the　suggestion　I　wanted　to　make。　Of　course　there　was　nothing　to　do　for　Walter。　Any　


of　these　humans　would　rather　die　slowly　and　in　pain　than　trade　their　mind　for　their　body’s　cure。　I　could　
understand　that…　now。　
“He’s　been　asking　for　you；”　Ian　continued。　“Well；　he　says　your　name　sometimes；　it’s　hard　to　tell　what　he　

means—Doc’s　keeping　him　drunk　to　help　with　the　pain。”　
“Doc　feels　real　bad　about　using　so　much　of　the　alcohol　himself；”　Jamie　added。　“Bad　timing；　all　around。”　
“Can　I　see　him？”　I　asked。　“Or　will　that　make　the　others　unhappy？”　
Ian　frowned　and　snorted。　“Wouldn’t　that　be　just　like　some　people；　to　get　worked　up　over　this？”　He　

shook　his　head。　“Who　cares；　though；　right？　If　it’s　Walt’s　final　wish…”　
“Right；”　I　agreed。　The　wordfinal　had　my　eyes　burning。　“If　seeing　me　is　what　Walter　wants；　then　I　guess　
it　doesn’t　matter　what　anyone　else　thinks；　or　if　they　get　mad。”　
“Don’t　worry　about　that—I’m　not　going　to　let　anybody　harass　you。”　Ian’s　white　lips　pressed　into　a　thin　
line。　
I　felt　anxious；　like　I　wanted　to　look　at　a　clock。　Time　had　ceased　to　mean　much　to　me；　but　suddenly　I　felt　

the　weight　of　a　deadline。　“Is　it　too　late　to　go　tonight？　Will　we　disturb　him？”　
“He’s　not　sleeping　regular　hours。　We　can　go　see。”　
I　started　walking　at　once；　dragging　Jamie　because　he　still　gripped　my　hand。　The　sense　of　passing　time；　of　

endings　and　finality；　propelled　me　forward。　Ian　caught　up　quickly；　though；　with　his　long　stride。

　In　the　moonlit　garden　cavern；　we　passed　others　who　for　the　most　part　paid　us　no　mind。　I　was　too　often　
in　the　pany　of　Jamie　and　Ian　to　cause　any　curiosity；　though　we　weren’t　headed　for　the　usual　tunnels。　
The　one　exception　was　Kyle。　He　froze　midstride　when　he　saw　his　brother　beside　me。　His　eyes　flashed　

down　to　see　Jamie’s　hand　in　mine；　and　then　his　lips　twisted　into　a　snarl。　

　

　When　we　were　in　the　blackness　of　the　long　tunnel　south；　I　tried　to　free　that　hand。　Ian　gripped　it　tighter。

　“I　wish　you　wouldn’t　make　him　angrier；”　I　muttered。

　“Kyle　is　wrong。　Being　wrong　is　sort　of　a　habit　with　him。　He’ll　take　longer　than　anyone　else　to　get　over　it；　

but　that　doesn’t　mean　we　should　make　allowances　for　him。”

　“He　frightens　me；”　I　admitted　in　a　whisper。　“I　don’t　want　him　to　have　more　reasons　to　hate　me。”

　Ian　and　Jamie　squeezed　my　hands　at　the　same　time。　They　spoke　simultaneously。

　“Don’t　be　afraid；”　Jamie　said。

　“Jeb’s　made　his　opinion　very　clear；”　Ian　said。

　“What　do　you　mean？”　I　asked　Ian。

　“If　Kyle　can’t　accept　Jeb’s　rules；　then　he’s　no　longer　wele　here。”

　“But　that’s　wrong。　Kyle　belongs　here。”

　Ian　grunted。　“He’s　staying…　so　he’ll　just　have　to　learn　to　deal。”

　We　didn’t　talk　again　through　the　long　walk。　I　was　feeling　guilty—it　seemed　to　be　a　permanent　emotional　

state　here。　Guilt　and　fear　and　heartbreak。　Why　had　I　e？

　Because　you　do　belong　here；　oddly　enough；Melanie　whispered。　She　was　very　aware　of　the　warmth　of　
Ian’s　and　Jamie’s　hands；　wrapped　around　and　twined　with　mine。Where　else　have　you　ever　had　this？

　Nowhere；I　confessed；　feeling　only　more　depressed。But　it　doesn’t　make　me　belong。　Not　the　way　you　

do。

　We’re　a　package　deal；　Wanda。

　As　if　I　needed　reminding。…

　I　was　a　little　surprised　to　hear　her　so　clearly。　She’d　been　quiet　the　last　two　days；　waiting；　anxious；　hoping　
to　see　Jared　again。　Of　course；　I’d　been　similarly　occupied。

　Maybe　he’s　with　Walter。　Maybe　that’s　wh