[科幻]宿主-第42章

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actually　been　an　Earth…dweller；　too；　before　she’d　given　herself—and　he　didn’t　seem　to　have　as　much　
perspective　as　older；　better…traveled　souls。　I　wondered　what　it　would　be　like　to　be　born　into　the　
overwhelming　sensation　and　emotion　of　these　hosts　with　no　prior　experience　for　balance。　It　would　be　
difficult　to　find　objectivity。　I　tried　to　remember　that　and　be　especially　patient　as　I　answered　him。

　“Every　world　is　a　unique　experience。　Unless　one　has　lived　on　that　world；　it’s　impossible　to　truly　
understand　the　—”

　“But　you　never　lived　on　Fire　World；”　he　interrupted　me。　“You　must　have　felt　the　same　way。…　Unless　
you　had　some　other　reason　for　skipping　that　planet？　You’ve　been　almost　everywhere　else。”

　“Choosing　a　planet　is　a　very　personal　and　private　decision；　Robert；　as　you　may　someday　experience。”　
My　tone　closed　the　subject　absolutely。

　Why　not　tell　them？　Youdothink　it’s　barbaric—and　cruel　and　wrong。　Which　is　pretty　ironic　if　you　
ask　me—not　that　you　ever　do。　What’s　the　problem？　Are　you　ashamed　that　you　agree　with　Robert？　
Because　he’s　more　human　than　the　others？

　Melanie；　having　found　her　voice；　was　being　downright　unbearable。　How　was　I　supposed　to　
concentrate　on　my　work　with　her　opinions　sounding　off　in　my　head　all　the　time？

　In　the　seat　behind　Robert；　a　dark　shadow　moved。

　The　Seeker；　clad　in　her　usual　black；　leaned　forward；　intent　for　the　first　time　on　the　subject　of　discussion。

　I　resisted　the　urge　to　scowl　at　her。　I　didn’t　want　Robert；　already　looking　embarrassed；　to　mistake　the　
expression　as　meant　for　him。　Melanie　grumbled。She　wished　I　wouldn’t　resist。　Having　the　Seeker　stalk　
our　every　footstep　had　been　educational　for　Melanie；　she　used　to　think　she　couldn’t　hate　anything　or　
anyone　more　than　she　hated　me。

　“Our　time　is　almost　up；”　I　announced　with　relief。　“I’m　pleased　to　inform　you　that　we　will　have　a　guest　
speaker　next　Tuesday　who　will　be　able　to　make　up　for　my　ignorance　on　this　topic。　Flame　Tender；　a　
recent　addition　to　our　planet；　will　be　here　to　give　us　a　more　personal　account　of　the　settling　of　Fire　
World。　I　know　that　you　will　give　him　all　the　courtesy　you　accord　me；　and　be　respectful　of　the　very　young　
age　of　his　host。　Thank　you　for　your　time。”

　The　class　filed　out　slowly；　many　of　the　students　taking　a　minute　to　chat　with　one　another　as　they　gathered　
their　things。　What　Kathy　had　said　about　friendships　ran　through　my　head；　but　I　felt　no　desire　to　join　any　
of　them。　They　were　strangers。

　Was　that　the　way　I　felt？　Or　the　way　Melanie　felt？　It　was　hard　to　tell。　Maybe　I　was　naturally　antisocial。　
My　personal　history　supported　that　theory；　I　supposed。　I’d　never　formed　an　attachment　strong　enough　to　
keep　me　on　any　planet　for　more　than　one　life。

　I　noticed　Robert　and　Faces　Sunward　lingering　at　the　classroom　door；　locked　in　a　discussion　that　seemed　

　

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“Fire　World　stories　ruffle　feathers。”　
I　started　slightly。　
The　Seeker　was　standing　at　my　elbow。　The　woman　usually　announced　her　approach　with　the　quick　tap　


of　her　hard　shoes。　I　looked　down　now　to　see　that　she　was　wearing　sneakers　for　once—black；　of　course。　
She　was　even　tinier　without　the　extra　inches。　
“It’s　not　my　favorite　subject；”　I　said　in　a　bland　voice。　“I　prefer　to　have　firsthand　experience　to　share。”　
“Strong　reactions　from　the　class。”


　“Yes。”　
She　looked　at　me　expectantly；　as　if　waiting　for　more。　I　gathered　my　notes　and　turned　to　put　them　in　my　
bag。


　“You　seemed　to　react　as　well。”　
I　placed　my　papers　in　the　bag　carefully；　not　turning。　
“I　wondered　why　you　didn’t　answer　the　question。”　
There　was　a　pause　while　she　waited　for　me　to　respond。　I　didn’t。　
“So…　why　didn’t　you　answer　the　question？”　
I　turned　around；　not　concealing　the　impatience　on　my　face。　“Because　it　wasn’t　pertinent　to　the　lesson；　


because　Robert　needs　to　learn　some　manners；　and　because　it’s　no　one　else’s　business。”　
I　swung　my　bag　to　my　shoulder　and　headed　for　the　door。　She　stayed　right　beside　me；　rushing　to　keep　up　


with　my　longer　legs。　We　walked　down　the　hallway　in　silence。　It　wasn’t　until　we　were　outside；　where　the　
afternoon　sun　lit　the　dust　motes　in　the　salty　air；　that　she　spoke　again。　
“Do　you　think　you’ll　ever　settle；　Wanderer？　On　this　planet；　maybe？　You　seem　to　have　an　affinity　for　


their…　feelings。”


　I　bridled　at　the　implied　insult　in　her　tone。　I　wasn’t　even　sure　how　she　meant　to　insult　me；　but　it　was　clear　
that　she　did。　Melanie　stirred　resentfully。　
“I’m　not　sure　what　you　mean。”　
“Tell　me　something；　Wanderer。　Do　you　pity　them？”　
“Who？”　I　asked　blankly。　“The　Walking　Flowers？”　
“No；　the　humans。”　
I　stopped　walking；　and　she　skidded　to　a　halt　beside　me。　We　were　only　a　few　blocks　from　my　apartment；　

　

　“The　humans？”

　“Yes。　Do　you　pity　them？”

　“Don’t　you？”

　“No。　They　were　quite　the　brutal　race。　They　were　lucky　to　survive　each　other　as　long　as　they　did。”

　“Not　every　one　of　them　was　bad。”

　“It　was　a　predilection　of　their　genetics。　Brutality　was　part　of　their　species。　Butyou　pity　them；　it　seems。”

　“It’s　a　lot　to　lose；　don’t　you　think？”　I　gestured　around　us。　We　stood　in　a　parklike　space　between　two　
ivy…covered　dormitories。　The　deep　green　of　the　ivy　was　pleasing　to　the　eye；　especially　in　contrast　to　the　
faded　red　of　the　old　bricks。　The　air　was　golden　and　soft；　and　the　smell　of　the　ocean　gave　a　briny　edge　to　
the　honey　sweet　fragrance　of　the　flowers　in　the　bushes。　The　breeze　caressed　the　bare　skin　of　my　arms。　
“In　your　other　lives；　you　can’t　have　felt　anything　so　vivid。　Wouldn’t　you　pity　anyone　who　had　this　taken　
from　them？”　Her　expression　stayed　flat；　unmoved。　I　made　an　attempt　to　draw　her　in；　to　make　her　
consider　another　viewpoint。　“Which　other　worlds　have　you　lived　on？”

　She　hesitated；　then　squared　her　shoulders。　“None。　I’ve　only　lived　on　Earth。”

　That　surprised　me。　She　was　as　much　a　child　as　Robert。　“Only　one　planet？　And　you　chose　to　be　a　

Seeker　in　your　first　life？”

　She　nodded　once；　her　chin　set。

　“Well。　Well；　that’s　your　business。”　I　started　walking　again。　Maybe　if　I　respected　her　privacy；　she　would　

return　the　favor。

　“I　spoke　to　your　forter。”

　And　maybe　not；Melanie　thought　sourly。

　“What？”　I　gasped。

　“I　gather　you’ve　been　having　more　trouble　than　just　accessing　the　information　I　need。　Have　you　

considered　trying　another；　more　pliable　host？　She　suggested　that；　did　she　not？”

　“Kathy　wouldn’t　tellyou　anything！”

　The　Seeker’s　face　was　smug。　“She　didn’t　have　to　answer。　I’m　very　good　at　reading　human　expressions。　

I　could　tell　when　my　questions　struck　a　nerve。”

　“How　dare　you？　The　relationship　between　a　soul　and　her　forter　—”

　“Is　sacrosanct；　yes；　I　know　the　theory。　But　the　acceptable　means　of　investigation　don’t　seem　to　be　

working　with　your　case。　I　have　to　get　creative。”　

　

　My　anger　didn’t　faze　her。　Perhaps；　given　her　strange　personality；　she　was　used　to　such　reactions。

　“No。　I　think　you’re　telling　me　what　you　know。…　But　I　don’t　think　you’re　looking　as　hard　as　you　could。　
I’ve　seen　it　before。　You’re　growing　sympathetic　to　your　host。　You’re　letting　her　memories　unconsciously　
direct　your　own　desires。　It’s　probably　too　late　at　this　point。　I　think　you’d　be　more　fortable　moving　
on；　and　maybe　someone　else　will　have　better　luck　with　her。”

　“Hah！”　I　shouted。　“Melanie　would　eat　them　alive！”

　Her　expression　froze　in　place。

　She’d　had　no　idea；　no　matter　what　she　thought　she’d　discerned　from　Kathy。　She’d　thought　Melanie’s　

influence　was　from　memories；　that　it　was　unconscious。

　“I　find　it　very　interesting　that　you　speak　of　her　in　the　present　tense。”

　I　ignored　that；　trying　to　pretend　I　hadn’t　made　a　slip。　“If　you　think　someone　else　would　have　better　luck　

breaking　into　her　secrets；　you’re　wrong。”

　“Only　one　way　to　find　out。”

　“Did　you　have　someone　in　mind？”　I　asked；　my　voice　frigid　with　aversion。

　She　grinned。　“I’vegotten　permission　to　give　it　a　try。　Shouldn’t　take　long。　They’re　going　to　hold　my　host　

for　me。”

　I　had　to　breathe　deeply。　I　was　shaking；　and　Melanie　was　so　full　of　hate　that　she　was　past　words。　The　
idea　of　having　the　Seeker　inside　me；　even　though　I　knew　that　I　would　not　be　here；　was　so　repugnant　that　

I　felt　a　return　of　last　week’s　nausea。

　“It’s　too　bad　for　your　investigation　that　I’m　not　a　skipper。”

　The　Seeker’s　eyes　narrowed。　“Well；　it　does　certainly　make　this　assignment　drag　on。　History　was　never　

of　much　interest　to　me；　but　it　looks　like　I’m　in　for　a　full　course　now。”

　“You　just　said　that　it　was　probably　too　late　to　get　any　more　from　her　memories；”　I　reminded　her；　
struggling　to　make　my　voice　calm。　“Why　don’t　you　go　back　to　wherever　you　belong？”

　She　shrugged　and　smiled　a　tight　smile。　“I’m　sure　itis　too　late…　for　voluntary　information。　But　if　you　don’t　

cooperate；　she　might　just　lead　me　to　them　yet。”

　“Leadyou？”

　“When　she　takes　full　control；　and　you’re　no　better　than　that　weakling；　once　Racing　Song；　now　Kevin。　

Remember　him？　The　one　who　attacked　the　Healer？”　
I　stared