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[科幻]宿主-第111章

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away in the room and then disappearing out of it。


 Jared waited until it was silent again。


 “Okay; Wanda; it’s just you and me。”


 He waited for some kind of answer。


 “Look; I guess that must have been pretty… bad。 We never wanted you to see that。 I’m sorry。”


 Sorry? Geoffrey’d said it was Jared’s idea。 He wanted to cut me out; slice me into little pieces; fling my 


blood on the wall。 He’d slowly mangle a million of me if he could find a way to keep his favorite monster 
alive with him。 Slash us all to slivers。


 He was quiet for a long time; still waiting for me to react。


 “You look like you want to be alone。 That’s okay。 I can keep them away; if that’s what you want。”


 I didn’t move。


 Something touched my shoulder。 I cringed away from it; into the sharp stones。


 “Sorry;” he muttered。


 I heard him stand; and the light—red behind my closed eyes—began to fade as he walked away。 


 

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。 
“Where is she?” 
“She wants to be alone。 Let her be。” 
“Don’t get in my way again; Howe。” 
“Do you think she wants fort from you? From a human?” 
“I wasn’t party to this —” 
Jared answered in a lower voice; but I could still hear the echoes。 “Notthis time。 You’re one of us; Ian。 


Her enemy。 Did you hear what she said in there? She was screamingmonsters。 That’s how she sees us 
now。 She doesn’t want your fort。”

 “Give me the light。” 
They didn’t speak again。 A minute passed; and I heard one set of slow footsteps moving around the 
edge of the room。 Eventually; the light swept across me; turning my lids red again。


 I huddled myself more tightly together; expecting him to touch me。 
There was a quiet sigh; and then the sound of him sitting on the stone; not as close beside me as I would 


have expected。 
With a click; the light disappeared。 
I waited in the silence for a long time for him to speak; but he was just as silent as I was。 
Finally; I stopped waiting and returned to my mourning。 Ian did not interrupt。 I sat in the blackness of the 


big hole in the ground and grieved for lost souls with a human at my side。


 CHAPTER 41


 Vanished

 Ian sat with me for three days in the darkness。

 He left for only a few short minutes at a time; to get us food and water。 At first; Ian ate; though I did not。 
Then; as he realized that it wasn’t a loss of appetite that left my tray full; he stopped eating; too。

 I used his brief absences to deal with the physical needs that I could not ignore; thankful for the 
proximity of the odorous stream。 As my fast lengthened; those needs vanished。

 I couldn’t keep from sleeping; but I did not make myself fortable。 The first day; I woke to find my 
head and shoulders cradled on his lap。 I recoiled from him; shuddering so violently that he did not repeat 
the gesture。 After that; I slumped against the stones where I was; and when I woke; I would curl back up 
into my silent ball at once。

 “Please;” Ian whispered on the third day—at least I thought it was the third day; there was no way to be 

 

again。” 
He would never stop them。 He was just one among many。 And; as Jared had said; he’d had no 
objections before。 I was the enemy。 Even in the most passionate; humankind’s limited scope of 
mercy was reserved for their own。 
I knew Doc could never intentionally inflict pain on another person。 I doubted he would even be capable 
of watching such a thing; tender as his feelings were。 But a worm; a centipede? Why would he care about 
the agony of a strange alien creature? Why would it bother him to murder a baby—slowly; slicing it apart 

piece by piece—if it had no human mouth to scream with? 
“I should have told you;” Ian whispered。 
Would it have mattered if I’d simply been told rather than having seen the tortured remains for myself? 

Would the pain be less strong? 
“Please eat。” 
The silence returned。 We sat in it for a while; maybe another hour。 
Ian got up and walked quietly away。 
I could make no sense of my emotions。 In that moment; I hated the body I was bound to。 How did it 

make sense that his going depressed me? Why should it pain me to have the solitude I craved? I wanted 

the monster back; and that was plainly wrong。 
I wasn’t alone for long。 I didn’t know if Ian had gone to get him or if he’d been waiting for Ian to leave; 
but I recognized Jeb’s contemplative whistle as it approached in the darkness。

 The whistling stopped a few feet from me; and there was a loud click。 A beam of yellow light burned my 

eyes。 I blinked against it。 
Jeb set the flashlight down; bulb up。 It threw a circle of light on the low ceiling and made a wider; more 
diffuse sphere of light around us。

 Jeb settled himself against the wall beside me。 
“Gonna starve yourself; then? Is that the plan?” 
I glared at the stone floor。 
If I was being honest with myself; I knew that my mourning was over。 I had grieved。 I hadn’t known the 


 

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s 
angry。 
“You wanna die; there are easier and faster ways。” 
As if I wasn’t aware ofthat。


 “So give me to Doc; then;” I croaked。 
Jeb wasn’t surprised to hear me speak。 He nodded to himself; as if this was exactly what he’d known 
would e out of my mouth。


 “Did you expect us to just give up; Wanderer?” Jeb’s voice was stern and more serious than I had ever 
heard it before。 “We have a stronger survival instinct than that。 Of course we want to find a way to get 
our minds back。 It could be any one of us someday。 So many people we love are already lost。

 “It isn’t easy。 It nearly kills Doc each time he fails—you’ve seen that。 But this is our reality; Wanda。 This 

is our world。 We’ve lost a war。 We are about to be extinct。 We’re trying to find ways to save ourselves。” 
For the first time; Jeb spoke to me as if I were a soul and not a human。 I had a sense that the distinction 
had always been clear to him; though。 He was just a courteous monster。

 I couldn’t deny the truth of what he was saying; or the sense of it。 The shock had worn off; and I was 

myself again。 It was in my nature to be fair。 
Some few of these humans could see my side of things; Ian; at least。 Then I; too; could consider their 
perspective。 They were monsters; but maybe monsters who were justified in what they were doing。

 Of course they would think violence was the answer。 They wouldn’t be able to imagine any other 
solution。 Could I blame them that their genetic programming restricted their problem…solving abilities in 
this way?

 I cleared my throat; but my voice was still hoarse with disuse。 “Hacking up babies won’t save anyone; 
Jeb。 Now they’reall dead。” 
He was quiet for a moment。 “We can’t tell your young from your old。” 
“No; I know that。” 
“Your kind don’t spare our babies。” 
“We don’t torture them; though。 We never intentionally cause anyone pain。” 
“You do worse than that。 You erase them。”

 “You do both。” 
“We do; yes—because we have to try。 We have to keep fighting。 It’s the only way we know。 It’s keep 
trying or turn our faces to the wall and die。” He raised one eyebrow at me。


 That must have been what it looked like I was doing。 


 

 “It will never work; Jeb。 You can keep cutting us out in pieces; but you’ll just murder more and more 
sentient creatures of both species。 We do not willingly kill; but our bodies are not weak; either。 Our 
attachments may look like soft silver hair; but they’re stronger than your organs。 That’s what’s 
happening; isn’t it? Doc slices upmy family; and their limbs shred through the brains ofyours。 ”

 “Like cottage cheese;” he agreed。

 I gagged and then shuddered at the image。

 “It makes me sick; too;” he admitted。 “Doc gets real bent out of shape。 Every time he thinks he’s got it 
cracked; it goes south again。 He’s tried everything he can think of; but he can’t save them from getting 
turned into oatmeal。 Your souls don’t respond to injected sedation… or poison。”

 My voice came out rough with new horror。 “Of course not。 Our chemical makeup is pletely 
different。”

 “Once; one of yours seemed to guess what was going to happen。 Before Doc could knock the human 
out; the silver thingy tore up his brain from the inside。 Course; we didn’t know that until Doc opened him 
up。 The guy just collapsed。”

 I was surprised; strangely impressed。 That soul must have been very brave。 I had not had the courage to 
take that step; even in the beginning when I was sure they were going to try to torture this very 
information from me。 I didn’t imagine they would try to slash the answer out for themselves; that course 
was so obviously doomed to failure; it had never occurred to me。

 “Jeb; we are relatively tiny creatures; utterly dependent on unwilling hosts。 We wouldn’t have lasted very 
long if we didn’t have some defenses。”

 “I’m not denying that your kind have a right to those defenses。 I’m just telling you that we’re gonna keep 
fighting back; however we can。 We don’t mean to cause anyone 

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