tg.wizardfirstrule-第161章

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　The　spirits　help　him；　he　understood。
　
　He　brought　it　forth；　let　it　cast　everything　in　a　white　sheen。
　
　…＋
　
　Cradled　numbly　in　the　white　haze　of　the　magic；　pearly　in　a　trance；　Richard　pushed　the　door　to　Denna's　quarters　closed　behind　himself。　He　calmly　held　the　power；　held　the　whiteness　of　it；　held　the　joy　and　the　sorrow　of　it。　The　quiet　room　was　lit　by　one　lamp　on　the　bedside　table；　giving　the　softly　scented　air　a　warm；　flickering　glow。　Denna　sat　pletely　naked　in　the　center　of　the　bed。　Her　legs　were　crossed；　her　braid　undone；　and　her　hair　brushed　out。　The　Agiel　was　on　a　gold　chain　around　her　neck；　hanging　between　her　breasts。　Her　hands　lay　nested　in　her　lap。　She　watched　him　with　big；　wistful　eyes。
　
　〃You　have　e　to　kill　me；　my　love？〃　she　whispered。
　
　He　nodded　slowly；　watching　her。　〃Yes；　Mistress。〃
　
　She　smiled　a　little。　〃That　is　the　first　time　you　have　ever　called　me　simply　‘Mistress。'　You　have　always　called　me　Mistress　Denna；　in　the　past。　It　means　something？〃
　
　〃Yes。　It　means　everything；　my　mate。　It　means　I　forgive　you　everything。〃　〃I　have　made　myself　ready。〃
　
　〃Why　are　you　naked？〃
　
　The　lamplight　reflected　in　the　wetness　of　her　eyes。　〃Because　everything　I　have　to　wear　is　Mord…Sith。　I　have　nothing　else。　I　did　not　wish　to　die　in　the　clothes　of　a　Mord…Sith。　I　…wish　to　die　as　I　was　born。　Denna。　Nothing　more。〃　。
　
　〃I　understand；〃　he　whispered。　〃How　did　you　know　I　was　ing　to　kill　you？〃
　
　〃When　Master　Rahl　chose　me　to　go　after　you；　he　said　he　wouldn't　order　me　to　go；　but　that　I　must　volunteer。　He　said　the　prophecies　foretold　of　a　Seeker　who　would　be　the　first　to　master　the　magic　of　the　sword：　the　white　magic。　That　this　one　would　cause　the　blade　of　the　sword　to　turn　white。　He　said　that　if　you　turned　out　to　be　the　one　of　whom　the　prophecies　spoke；　it　would　mean　that　I　was　to　die　by　your　hand；　if　you　so　chose。　I　asked　to　be　sent；　to　be　your　Mord…Sith。　Some　of　the　things　I　have　done　to　you；　I　have　done　to　no　other；　in　the　hope　you　would　be　the　one　and　kill　me　for　it。　When　you　did　what　you　did　to　the　Princess；　I　suspected。　When　you　killed　the　two　guards　today；　I　knew。　You　should　not　have　been　able　to。　I　was　holding　you　by　the　sword's　magic　at　the　time。〃
　
　Everything　was　white　around　the　childlike　beauty　of　her　face。　〃I'm　so　sorry；　Denna；〃　he　whispered。
　
　〃You　will　remember　me？〃
　
　〃I　will　have　nightmares　the　rest　of　my　life。〃
　
　Her　smile　widened。　〃I'm　glad。〃　She　seemed　genuinely　proud。　〃You　love　this　woman；　Kahlan？〃
　
　He　frowned　a　little。　〃How　do　you　know　that？〃
　
　〃Sometimes；　when　I　hurt　men　enough；　and　they　don't　know　what　they're　saying；　they　cry　for　their　mothers；　or　their　wives。　You　cried　for　one　named　Kahlan。　You　will　choose　her　for　your　mate？〃
　
　〃I　cannot；〃　he　said　past　the　lump　in　his　throat。　〃She　is　a　Confessor。　Her　power　would　destroy　me。〃
　
　〃I'm　sorry。　This　hurts　you？〃
　
　He　nodded　slowly。　〃More　than　anything　you　have　done　to　me。〃
　
　〃Good。〃　Denna　smiled　sadly。　〃I'm　glad　the　one　you　love　is　able　to　give　you　more　pain　than　was　L〃　Richard　knew　that　in　her　twisted　way；　Denna　meant　this　as　a　fort　to　him；　that　for　her　to　be　happy　that　he　would　get　more　pain　from　another　was　a　giving　of　her　love。　He　knew　that　Denna　sometimes　gave　him　pain　to　show　that　she　cared　for　him。　In　her　eyes；　at　least；　if　this　other　woman　could　give　him　more　pain；　that　was　a　demonstration　of　love。
　
　A　tear　ran　down　his　face。　What　had　they　done　to　this　poor　child？
　
　〃It　is　a　different　kind　of　pain。　None　could　be　your　equal　in　the　things　you　have　done。〃
　
　A　tear　of　pride　rolled　down　her　cheek。　〃Thank　you；　my　love；〃　she　breathed。　She　took　the　Agiel　from　her　neck　and　held　it　up　hopefully。　〃Would　you　wear　this；　to　remember　me　by？　It　will　not　hurt　you　around　your　neck；　or　if　you　hold　the　chain；　only　if　you　hold　the　Agiel　itself　in　your　hand。〃
　
　Richard　held　her　face　in　the　white　glow。　〃It　would　be　my　honor；　my　mate。〃　He　bent；　letting　her　put　it　over　his　head；　letting　her　give　his　cheek　a　kiss。
　
　〃How　will　you　do　it？〃　she　asked。
　
　He　knew　what　she　meant。　He　swallowed　back　the　lump　in　his　throat。　His　hand　went　smoothly　to　the　hilt　of　the　sword。
　
　Slowly；　he　drew　the　Sword　of　Truth。　It　didn't　ring；　the　way　it　always　had　in　the　past。
　
　It　hissed。　A　white…hot　hiss。
　
　Richard　didn't　look；　but　he　knew；　knew　the　blade　had　turned　white。　He　held　her　wet　eyes。　The　power　flooded　through　him。　He　was　at　peace。　All　anger；　all　hate；　all　malice；　was　gone。　Where　he　had　felt　these　things　from　the　sword　before；　he　now　felt　only　love　for　this　child；　this　vessel　into　whom　others　had　poured　pain；　this　receptacle　of　cruelty；　this　innocent；　tortured　soul；　who　had　been　trained　to　do　the　things　she　hated　above　all　else：　hurting　others。　His　empathy　with　her　made　him　ache　with　sorrow　for　her；　with　love　for　her。
　
　〃Denna；〃　he　whispered。　〃You　could　just　let　me　go；　there　is　no　need　to　do　this。　Please。　Let　me　go。　Don't　make　me　have　to　do　this。〃
　
　She　held　her　chin　up。　〃If　you　try　to　leave；　I　will　stop　you　with　the　pain　of　the　magic；　and　make　you　sorry　you　have　been　trouble　to　me。　I　am　Mord…Sith。　I　am　your　mistress。　I　can　be　no　more　than　who　I　am。　You　can　be　no　less；　my　mate。〃
　
　He　nodded　sadly；　and　put　the　tip　of　the　sword　between　her　　breasts；　the　tears　in　his　eyes　and　the　white　glow　making　it　difficult　to　see。
　
　Denna　gently　took　the　tip　of　the　sword　and　moved　it　up　a　few　inches。　〃My　heart　is　here；　my　love。〃
　
　Holding　the　sword　against　her；　he　bent　and　put　his　left　arm　tenderly　around　her　soft　shoulders。　He　held　the　power　with　all　his　strength　as　he　kissed　her　cheek。
　
　〃Richard；〃　she　whispered；　〃I　have　never　had　a　mate　like　you　before。　I'm　glad　I　will　have　no　other。　You　are　a　very　rare　person。　You　are　the　only　person　since　I　was　chosen　who　has　cared　that　I　was　in　pain；　or　done　anything　to　stop　it。　Thank　you　for　last　night；　for　teaching　me　what　it　could　be　like。〃
　
　Tears　dripped　from　his　face。　He　held　her　close。　〃Forgive　me；　my　love。〃
　
　She　smiled。　〃Everything。　Thank　you　for　calling　me　‘my　love。'　It　is　good　to　hear　it　once　in　truth　before　I　die。　Twist　the　sword；　to　be　sure　it　is　finished。　And　Richard；　please；　take　my　last　breath？　As　I　have　taught　you？　I　wish　you　to　have　my　last　breath　of　life。〃
　
　In　a　daze；　he　put　his　mouth　over　hers；　kissing　her；　and　didn't　。　even　feel　his　right　hand　moving。　There　was　no　resistance。　The　sword　went　through　her　as　if　she　were　gossamer。　He　felt　his　hand　twist　the　sword；　and　he　took；　her　last　breath　of　life。
　
　He　laid　her　gently　back　on　the　bed；　lay　down　next　to　her；　and　cried　uncontrollably　as　he　stroked　her　ashen　face。
　
　He　grieved　to　undo　what　he　had　done
　
　CHAPTER　44
　IT　WAS　DEEP　IN　the　night　when　he　left　Denna's　quarters。　The　halls　were　empty　except　for　flickering　shadows。　Richard's　footsteps　echoed　from　the　polished　stone　floors　and　walls　as　he　walked　in　a　mournful　daze；　watching　his　shadow　rotate　around　himself　as　he　passed　torches；　feeling　fort　only　at　having　his　pack　on　his　back　once　more；　and　to　be　leaving　the　People's　Palace。　He　didn't　know　where　he　was　'going；　only　that　he　was　going　to　go　away　from　here。
　
　The　pain　of　an　Agiel　in　the　small　of　his　back　slammed　him　to　a　halt；　and　brought　sweat　instantly　to　his　face　as　he　tried　to　take　a　breath；　but　couldn't。　Fire　seared　through　his　hips　and　legs。
　
　〃Going　somewhere？〃　came　a　ruthless　whisper。
　
　Constance。
　
　His　shaking　hand　struggled　to　reach　his　sword。　She　laughed　as　she　watched　him。　A　vision　of　giving　her　control　of　the　magic；　of　the　whole　nightmare　starting　over　again；　flashed　through　his　mind。　His　hand　backed　away　from　the　sword　and　kept　the　anger　of　the　magic　in　check。　She　came　around　to　stand　before　him；　her　arm　around　him；　holding　the　Agiel　against　his　back；　keeping　his　legs　paralyzed。　She　was　wearing　her　red　leather。
　
　〃No？　Not　ready　to　try　to　use　the　magic　on　me　yet？　You　will。　You　will　try　before　long；　you　will　try　to　save　yourself　with　it；〃　She　smiled。　〃Save　yourself　the　extra　pain；　use　it　now。　Maybe　I　will　have　mercy　on　you　if　you　try　it　now。〃
　
　Richard　thought　about　all　the　ways　Denna　had　given　him　pain；　and　how　she　had　taught　him　to　tolerate　it；　so　she　could　give　him　more。　He　brought　to　bear　everything　he　had　learned。　He　controlled　the　pain；　blocking　it　enough　to　draw　a　deep　breath。
　
　He　swept　his　left　arm　around　Constance；　forcing　her　body　tight　against　himself。　He　grabbed　the　Agiel　in　his　fist；　Denna's　Agiel；　hanging　from　his　neck。　Pain　shot　up　his　arm。　He　endured　it；　dismissed　it。　Constance　gave　a　grunt　as　he　lifted　her　off　her　feet；　pulling　her　up　his　body。　She　tried　to　press　her　Agiel　harder　into　his　back；　but　she　didn't　have　the　leverage；　and　he　had　her　arm　pinned；　so　she　couldn't　move　it。
　
　When　he　had　her　lifted　high　enough；　her　contorted　face　in　front　of　his；　he　pressed　Derma's　Agiel　to　her　chest。　Her　eyes　widened。　Her　expression　slackened。　Richard　remembered　Denna　holding　her　Agiel　against　Queen　Milena　in　this　manner。　It　had　the　same　effect　on　Constance。　She　shook；　easing　the　pressure　against　his　back。　Still；　it　was　hurting　him；　as　was　the　Agiel　in　his　hand。
　
　Richard　gritted　his　teeth　against　the　pain。　〃I'm　not　going　to　kill　you　with　the　sw